so much for not making the same mistake again. 
come on, put yourself back together. 
the person you were a year ago would have hated you for doing this.  

“I’m good ;j I don’t want you to stay up later since you still have school tom morning. I also need to take care of my princess, yknow? :)”  

I miss having you around, of course things can never go back to the way it was before but you seem so distant now. We haven’t had realtalks in so long, & I hate having to stay away from you because of her. During the times I was going through a lot, you acted like my bestfriend and was the only person I could trust. I looked up to you because you always gave the best advice, you protected and took care of me, and you always checked up on me making sure I was safe. Even though you were busy with work you went as far as staying up on the phone until I fell asleep, or you would pick me up and drive me home when it was dark out. But then you disappeared all of a sudden, and during the times I felt alone and confused I didn’t know who to run to anymore, because it seemed like everyone else walked out of my life too. I guess I became too dependent, and I wanted that reassurance from you. I hope you’re still keeping your promise knight, cause your little princess is still keeping hers. 

“i trust you but not everyone else’ 

bullshit. i know you’re just being protective & you care about me but you’re making a big deal over the smallest things. idk why you decided to be so unfair all of a sudden

..but i can’t tell you. because it’s hard to explain, or because i’m scared of what you’ll think of me. you always have the right things to say, & i usually ask for your advice but i can’t do that anymore. & i feel bad during our real talks because you always open up, and i can’t do that same because there’s some things that i have to hide from you. 

so much for learning from mistakes. i know this is wrong but there’s something inside that makes me want to go through with this. maybe it’s because of the feelings i’ve had in the past, and now is the time i can express it. or maybe, it’s just the excitement of keeping things hidden. idk. 

“i keep a smile on my face so no one knows how upside down my world has been.” 
 
you always seem so happy, as if you have no problems. when you opened up to me it was so unexpected, i had no idea that you were going through so much. i thought i was going through a lot, but it made me realize that there’s always people that have it worse. i have no right to be upset about my problems, because its nothing compared to what you’re going through. i honestly wish i could help you, if only there was a way to make things better. you don’t deserve to go through all of this, & you’ll always be in my prayers <3 

you complain when i don’t text you back, yet when i initiate conversation you don’t make an effort to talk back. you wanted to keep things a secret, yet you’re close to me in public. you say you want me, but you go after other people. quit being so damn confusing. -.- 

you get me attached, make me believe that there’s something special between us.. then you want to keep things as “just friends”. & you expect that i’ll always be the girl you can come back to when you’re not busy trying to get at someone else. why should you be a priority, when to you, i’m only an option ?